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Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Be happy!

I have been thinking of writing a post about this for so long and weather to or not, it's not exactly something that I enjoy talking about or want people to know about me but some comments have just been getting on my nerves. Recently I've been going through quite a bad time (not something I want to talk about or share on the internet) I posted on my social networking sites that I couldn't blog and youtube and things at the minute as I just wanted time to myself as I was finding things difficult. I got some lovely comments and thank you so much for been there for me!.  also got the odd few saying I was doing it for attention blah blah. I  never let hate comments get to me as I have quite a thick skin but when people say things like that they've no idea what I am going though or what's happening.

 I had a few comments on youtube as well a while ago saying that I looked like I could never be bothered to film any more and things like that and it just really annoyed me.

 The thing is for the past year I have been on anti depressants. I feel like I have always been prone to it as I get massive anxiety and worry about things all the time (usually things to do with my health) which makes me so miserable. Things have happened in the past year which has made me so so down. I went to the doctors because I felt like  couldn't cope with things on my own any more!. I have been off my anti depressants for about 2 months now and I have felt so much better recently. I love my job, I love my boyfriend and I finally felt happy!. When I was younger I use to go counselling because I use to worry so much about been sick and I think my unhappiness has stemmed from there. I am a emotional and sensitive person and I think I always will be, that's just the way I am. But I think I just have to come to terms with how I am. I have a case of OCD (which I won't go into because you will all think I'm nuts!) I am constantly worried about everything and it does my head in!. 
When one thing bad happens to me i feel like I am back to square one and I think that I will always feel like this!. I know that I can be and will be happy and I just need to get things under control. If I'm not always myself on youtube then you know why now. Doing things like fashion blog posts keep me happy because I love fashion, it also keeps me busy and keeps my mind off things, like worrying about pointless things. This isn't something I really wanted to talk about as its nothing to do with fashion or beauty and its very much controversial and I know I will get the odd comments saying I am trying to get people to feel sorry for me and I'm attention seeking but I am actually doing this so people realise why I am how I am sometimes. I feel like just because I blog and I am on youtube people don't realise I am normal and have just as much issues as the next person does!. At the minute I am the happiest I have been in such a long time, it's just the blip that's sort of come up and make me feel at rock bottom again. I know as soon as it sorts itself out I'll be back to being my happy self. I just want to thank you all for your lovely comments through out the years and the lovely comments that I will get in advance, it means the world to me!. I may act tough but I'm really not haha!. Thank you all for your understanding, lots of love!! <3 xx 

12 comments:

  1. This has made me tear up, and I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you :(... I just want to say that I think you are beautiful and have an amazing sense of humour and I have had Alot of tips from your videos and I love them! <3... I follow you on instagram, youtube, and Facebook and I never get bored with what you write. please don't feel upset or depressed as Alot of people love you! Just eat chocolate and icercream alday and get fat! that's what I do... Lmfao :)... Stay strong liv x

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  2. Hope you start to feel better soon, I love watching your YouTube channel and I hope you carry on with it, Stay up beat and ignore the haters. Some people are just cruel and you shouldnt have to explain yourself to anyone. My sister suffers from depression so iv got an idea ov what ur going through. Chin up and keep strong x

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  3. I have been through a similar experience myself. I'm the biggest worrier. I worry about things that you shouldn't even think about never mind worry, I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and I've had counselling which has improved my lifestyle so much in the last year. I went from not going out anywhere to living normally again. I know how you feel and its a really common thing to suffer from. I think you have been really brave to tell people about this because it is an illness which should have more awareness. I always watch your videos on youtube, follow you on instagram and have brought some items of clothng from you in the past, I feel that you are a normal down to earth girl and thats why I enjoy watching your videos. I hope you start to feel better again soon as there is nothing greater when you finally start to feel yourself again! Keep going and you have all our support! x

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  4. I have been going through depression and 'emotional intensity' disorder for the past two years and one of the things that gets me through it is doing art. everything you said made so much sense. ignore the hate comments, for every one of those, there are ten of us supporting you and loving what you do. keep goingggggg! we love you! xx

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  5. Keep Strong and positive Olivia and hopefully things will get better with your condition, we are all here to support you and want you to get well soon❤ Don't worry about your youtube and social media it's up to you when you'd like to return of if you do, If they truly follow you they will be here every step of the way❤ I love what you do i watch all your videos ever since you've started especially the favorites and the hauls. Don't change and if there are any horrible messages getting to you remember they are just low lives❤ we all love you Olivia❤ x

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  6. hi liv ive been subscribd to u for a while now and ur such a lovely girl!!! I really look forward to ur videos cuz ur amazing. Im so sorry you're going through this , its not fair!!! and all the hate u get is outragious. ur beautiful, have a lovely figure and an amazing sense of style tbh they literally are jealous of u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know everyone says that but it's true. I know that even though u get hate there still is a number of subscribers that are routing for u and love u for u. you should be in a healthy envirement and id miss u but if youtube is dragging u down more like your instagram post a break is probably best, w'ed miss u!!! LOVEYOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!! <3

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  7. Hope things get better for you soon, I can't imagine going through something like this, just know that things will get better. Unbelievable the hate you get sometimes though, if people have nothing nice to say then they should just say nothing at all! I totally understand you taking a break or quitting from instagram/youtube, it's your decision and you need to put yourself first! Get well soon lovely,
    Sarah xxx

    www.sarahsbeautyemporium.co.uk

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  8. You are really brave to post this, and you should be so proud that you have opened up about it. You probably know more than anyone how hard it can be to speak honestly about how you're feeling and what you are experiencing. It can be so scary sometimes, so well done! I just hope that you have it in you to realise that when people say horrible things, that it's actually a reflection of themselves and nothing you have done :)

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  9. You are beautiful and such an amazing girl! Dont let anyone put you down, you are a great role model and deserve amazing things in your life! Hope you feel better soon.
    Amy xxxx

    www.VogueBeautyxo.blospot.co.uk

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  10. You are very very brave to post that. I suffered depression for years after two of my friends died to suicide and it really brought me down so I know exactly how you must feel. Just know that we are all here for you and we all absolutely love your videos. If you ever need to talk just contact me, you have me on youtube, facebook, twitter etc. My other friends tell me that im great at this whole counselling thing haha. Keep smiling girl, you're brilliant at what you do :) Head up!! xxx

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  11. Please make a video or a blogpost about your OCD! I won't think your nuts trust me, I too suffer from it and have no one to talk to that fully understands it (I don't know anybody with the same problem). It would be so interesting. I also worry about my health all the time and can relate to so much of what you're sayin.

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  12. Hey sweetie! I've only just read your blog post and I think your so strong and brave to post this. I've just been diagnosed with depression and to start with you kinda feel alone but after reading this I know I'm not. We shall all come out strong in the end xxx

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