I have been thinking of writing a post about this for so long and weather to or not, it's not exactly something that I enjoy talking about or want people to know about me but some comments have just been getting on my nerves. Recently I've been going through quite a bad time (not something I want to talk about or share on the internet) I posted on my social networking sites that I couldn't blog and youtube and things at the minute as I just wanted time to myself as I was finding things difficult. I got some lovely comments and thank you so much for been there for me!. also got the odd few saying I was doing it for attention blah blah. I never let hate comments get to me as I have quite a thick skin but when people say things like that they've no idea what I am going though or what's happening.
I had a few comments on youtube as well a while ago saying that I looked like I could never be bothered to film any more and things like that and it just really annoyed me.
The thing is for the past year I have been on anti depressants. I feel like I have always been prone to it as I get massive anxiety and worry about things all the time (usually things to do with my health) which makes me so miserable. Things have happened in the past year which has made me so so down. I went to the doctors because I felt like couldn't cope with things on my own any more!. I have been off my anti depressants for about 2 months now and I have felt so much better recently. I love my job, I love my boyfriend and I finally felt happy!. When I was younger I use to go counselling because I use to worry so much about been sick and I think my unhappiness has stemmed from there. I am a emotional and sensitive person and I think I always will be, that's just the way I am. But I think I just have to come to terms with how I am. I have a case of OCD (which I won't go into because you will all think I'm nuts!) I am constantly worried about everything and it does my head in!.
When one thing bad happens to me i feel like I am back to square one and I think that I will always feel like this!. I know that I can be and will be happy and I just need to get things under control. If I'm not always myself on youtube then you know why now. Doing things like fashion blog posts keep me happy because I love fashion, it also keeps me busy and keeps my mind off things, like worrying about pointless things. This isn't something I really wanted to talk about as its nothing to do with fashion or beauty and its very much controversial and I know I will get the odd comments saying I am trying to get people to feel sorry for me and I'm attention seeking but I am actually doing this so people realise why I am how I am sometimes. I feel like just because I blog and I am on youtube people don't realise I am normal and have just as much issues as the next person does!. At the minute I am the happiest I have been in such a long time, it's just the blip that's sort of come up and make me feel at rock bottom again. I know as soon as it sorts itself out I'll be back to being my happy self. I just want to thank you all for your lovely comments through out the years and the lovely comments that I will get in advance, it means the world to me!. I may act tough but I'm really not haha!. Thank you all for your understanding, lots of love!! <3 xx